


Not The Worst Idea

by linndechir



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Huddling For Warmth, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-07 15:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5461814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linndechir/pseuds/linndechir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Lee almost drowns on what should have been a harmless recon mission, Barney is more shaken by it than Lee himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not The Worst Idea

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fullmoon02](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmoon02/gifts).



In hindsight, the whole thing probably could have gone a whole lot worse. Considering that what intel they'd had for their recon mission had been complete bullshit, that they'd been shot as soon as they got anywhere near their target, that one of those idiotic goons had gotten lucky and actually managed to hit Christmas' side with a stray bullet, and that Christmas had thought it would be a brilliant idea not to mention that fact to Barney for the next hour while they drove a crappy hijacked car back to their plane through the kind of thick forest that would have looked straight out of a Rambo movie if it hadn't been so damn freezing. Lee had just gritted his teeth and kept going, possibly because he was English, more likely because he was a fucking moron. Not that Barney could have done much about it on the spot, but he still would have liked to know that his partner could keel over from blood less at any moment while they were being pursued by a small army.

And as if all of that hadn't been enough to thoroughly ruin both their days as well as the prospect of actually accepting this mission they were scouting out, Christmas had all but managed to drown himself. They'd had to circle around a lake to shake off their pursuers and get to the small valley where they'd hidden the plane, and a rain of bullets had ripped the car's tyres to bits. Barney had managed to jump out of it before it completely veered off track, but Lee drove right into the goddamn lake. Even as Barney kept running through the bushes, head low to avoid detection, he realised that it took Lee one hell of a long time to surface again near the other bank of the lake.

The good thing had been that their pursuers had apparently thought they'd both drowned in that deathtrap of a car, so they managed to limp back to the plane more or less unscathed – or rather unscathed in Barney's case, and very much not so in Lee's, as he only discovered there. 

He was obviously drenched to the bones, coughing every few breaths, water dripping from his clothes with every step and squelching in his boots, and it was only then that Barney noticed that Lee's shirt was wet with blood on his left side and that he was shivering so violently that his teeth clattered.

So, while in hindsight the whole thing could definitely have gone _worse_ – it could have been a serious injury rather than just a grazing shot Barney could clean and stitch up easily, Lee could have passed out and drowned in the icy water, someone could have managed to follow them to the plane – it had still pretty much gone to shit in every possible way.

After cleaning Lee's wound Barney went back out to check if anyone had managed to find them, while Lee got out of his wet clothes, towelled himself off, and got dressed in something that wasn't covered in algae – they spent enough time running through rain, mud, sand, and any other kind of dirt known to man that they always made sure to keep some towels and clean clothes on the plane. Once he'd convinced himself that they were safe for now, Barney went back into the plane, found Lee in dry jeans, socks, and a thick wool sweater – and still shivering even though he had a thermal blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

“You look like shit,” Barney said, and was relieved that even in his current state Lee managed to grin back at him.

“So do you, and you don't have the excuse of falling into a bloody lake,” he shot back, but his voice sounded strained. Barney had seen Lee injured often enough over the years – too often for his taste – one or two times so badly that he'd almost died on Barney, and for all that this came with the job territory, it didn't get easier over the years to lose any of his men. Certainly didn't get any easier where Lee was concerned, that grumpy bastard whom Barney had grown to rely on way more than any of the others, even those who'd been on his team for longer. A lot of the guys he'd worked with in this business were screwed in the head, one way or another, but for all that Lee was kind of an asshole and would find ways to complain about _anything_ , he was also one of the most reliable, stable people Barney had ever met. And it was disconcerting to see him look so thoroughly fucked up when he didn't seem to be in any imminent danger.

“You know we can't get safely off this island until nightfall,” Barney said, because there was no way he was going to admit that Lee stumbling to the plane in a wet, bloody mess had given him one hell of a scare. So he focused instead on what he could or couldn't do right now. He figured Lee could do with some place warmer, but they'd only attract attention again if they left now and he didn't want to risk having the plane shot down before it was out of reach.

“Yeah, I know.” Lee shrugged, his teeth clashing together even harder when he did. It would have been funny if Barney hadn't been so worried about him. “It's fine.”

“Like hell it is.” He hesitated for a moment, knowing fully well that Lee was going to give him shit for this, but then he sat down next to him on the bench, close enough that his thigh pressed against Lee's. “C'mon, scoot over.”

“What do you think you're doing?” Lee gave him the kind of look he usually reserved for any of Barney's plans he deemed moronic – which was, surprisingly, most of them. Not that it ever stopped Lee from going along with them, so Barney had grown used to ignoring that look. 

“Keeping your stubborn ass from freezing.” Moving Lee Christmas was a bit like trying to push a particularly stubborn donkey around, but Barney still managed to get Lee to turn to the side, shove the blanket out of the way and get his arms around him to pull Lee's back against his chest. It wasn't ideal, but he figured a bit of warmth was better than no warmth, and Lee still had the thermal blanket to cover his front and his legs. His body didn't feel quite as cold as Barney had feared, but the skin on the back of his neck was like ice when Barney's cheek brushed against it.

“I've had actual hypothermia before, this isn't so bad,” Lee said, but he didn't try to push Barney away. “You can stop fussing like an old woman.”

“You'd sound a lot more convincing if your teeth weren't clattering, Christmas.” Barney let his hand rest on Lee's chest, rubbed it carefully when Lee kept holding still. They weren't usually this close, neither of them much for hugs or anything more than the occasional shoulder slap or fist bump. The only times they touched for longer than a few seconds was when one of them needed patching up. And, well, there had been one other time, over three years ago now, before Lacy, before they'd known each other half as well as they did know, and they'd both been drunk out of their minds that night or neither of them would have thought it was a good idea to try and screw someone they worked with. Feeling Lee's chest under his hand, this wasn't the first time Barney found himself feeling quite wistful that they'd both managed to be so much more sensible after that night.

“If you make some dumb Christmas joke, I'll break your hand,” Lee mumbled, his head leaning back against Barney's shoulder.

“You'd also sound a lot more intimidating if your teeth –” 

“Oh, shut it, you old bastard,” and Barney could feel the laughter rumbling in Lee's chest. Lee started to relax after a while, even though he was still shivering against him. Barney raised his other hand to Lee's neck, rubbed the back of it gently until he felt the skin warm underneath his fingers, and Lee let out a soft, deep sigh that almost sounded content. Minutes passed in silence, and the only reason Barney knew that Lee hadn't fallen asleep was because he kept shifting every now and then, maybe to warm himself up, maybe because neither of them was sitting all that comfortably.

“You really should have warned me when you signed up for this that you couldn't swim,” Barney said after a while. Lee elbowed him in the side even as he laughed, a low sound Barney really shouldn't have enjoyed quite as much considering the situation. And his laughter didn't last for long, ended in a brief snort.

“Talk to me again after you've taken a swim in that lake,” Lee said, the usual sharpness missing from his voice, and it was the first time he actually sounded a little shaken. “The water in there was pretty much pitch black.”

“Probably didn't help that you were bleeding like a pig.” Barney's fingers ghosted briefly over Lee's side, not that he could feel the bandage through the thick sweater. So he let his hand slip underneath it, underneath Lee's t-shirt, too, until it touched his abs, the skin there already warm again. “You could've mentioned that earlier.”

“Sure, and then you would've jumped right into the water to save me, is that it?” Lee sounded as sceptical as if the very idea was absurd, as if he'd forgotten all the times Barney had saved his ass in the past. He'd repaid the favour so often that Barney couldn't bring himself to be annoyed by it.

“Yeah, I would've saved you.” 

For a moment Lee was quiet, too quiet and too still, his abs and his neck muscles tensing under Barney's hands; a jerk went through his body like he was about to sit up, but then he relaxed back against Barney, the stubble at the back of his head rasping over Barney's cheek.

“Makes sense. Since I'm the only friend you got, you'd be a sad old man if I went and drowned,” Lee finally said, clearly going for teasing, and yet Barney swallowed, tightened his grip on the back of Lee's neck. It wasn't that Lee was his only friend – sometimes he felt like that was mostly wishful thinking on Lee's part, considering how much he seemed to hate Barney as much as talking to other people – but at some point in the past few years Lee had without a doubt become his closest friend. Closer than anyone had been in a long time, maybe closer than even Stonebanks had been back in the day. Or maybe just close in a different way than any of the other guys were. In the kind of way where Barney wanted to take Lee home after they'd all gotten drunk at the bar, wanted to screw him senseless on the couch or in the corridor or wherever else he could get his hands on him, wanted to wake up to Lee complaining about how the milk in Barney's fridge had gone sour and what fucking good was it that Barney had tea at home if he didn't buy any milk?

(Barney knew the last bit at least was a realistic part of that fantasy because it _had_ happened, though only after Lee passing out on his couch rather than falling asleep in Barney's bed.)

“Something like that, yeah,” was the only thing Barney said in reply. He felt Lee shift against him, Lee's hand slipping underneath his clothes until it covered Barney's, pressed it closer to his skin just above the waistband of his jeans. His fingers were still cool, but not worryingly so anymore, and through all the relief Barney felt that Lee's assessment of his situation had clearly been accurate, he had to fight down the urge to dig his fingers into Lee's skin, to press him down and feel the warmth of his body and have Lee gasp against his mouth.

“You still think I'm going to freeze?” Lee said, just as the last sliver of sunlight that fell into the plane disappeared; it wasn't dark yet, but the sun was setting slowly, and Barney figured they could probably leave in an hour, maybe less. Lee had pushed the blanket aside as if to make a point, and his fingers felt a lot warmer where they were pressed against Barney's.

“You'll probably be fine.” And because Barney could take a hint he tried to pull back, but Lee's fingers tightened around his hand and kept it in place. Barney swallowed, turned a bit awkwardly because suddenly touching Lee's neck was too much, felt like it was too familiar somehow, like it implied something that he'd promised himself he wouldn't mention again. Lee could hardly have missed that, and yet he still refused to let go.

“You wanna hold my hand, Christmas?” Barney eventually said when Lee didn't do anything more than that, managing to sound amused enough, because for all that they'd fucked once, neither of them was the type to hold hands. At least not with each other – Barney figured Lee had done his share of hand-holding when he'd pretended he could have a normal relationship with a nice girl, until that had predictably gone to shit and nobody except Lee himself had been surprised.

“You're the one who insisted on cuddling,” Lee snorted. He glanced back over his shoulder at Barney, eyes dark in the dim light, and Barney swallowed again, because that reckless look in Lee's eyes had been his favourite thing about him since they'd first met, the main reason Barney didn't just _like_ Lee, but wanted him. Barney had never had much of a type, had never cared much about the looks of the men he slept with, but he'd always had a thing for the gleefully dangerous ones, the ones who were a little too wild for their own good, and all of Lee's competence and efficiency couldn't hide how much he liked pushing just to see what he could get away with. Barney would have let him get away with anything he'd ever want to do.

He could pinpoint the moment when he realised that he'd fucked up, that his thoughts had been so obvious on his face that Lee caught on, the moment when Lee's expression turned from surprised to a kind of smug approval, and before Barney could decide what to make of that Lee pushed Barney's hand down towards his crotch. And maybe Barney had misunderstood Lee's constant shifting and fidgeting completely, because he sure as hell hadn't expected to find Lee half-hard in his jeans.

“You know there would've been a much more obvious way to warm me up, right?” Lee said like this was the most obvious thing in the world, like this was something they did and not something they had both agreed not to try again. Barney tried not to move, blinked and just waited for a moment to see if this was one of Lee's jokes, but instead Lee all but squirmed a bit against his hand.

“Wasn't aware you'd hit your head, too,” Barney said softly, and this time he let his lips brush against Lee's jaw. The shudder that went through Lee's body at that was nothing like his earlier shivering. “Thought we'd agreed this was a bad idea.”

“I must have hit my head way earlier in my life not to run screaming at the sight of your mug.” There was a small smile playing at the corner of Lee's mouth, and he sounded almost fond.

“Lucky me,” Barney said and grinned a little. He pressed his palm against Lee's cock, just enough pressure to get a small groan from him, and a brief glare before Lee turned his head again so Barney couldn't see his face. “Still a bad idea.”

“Not the worst idea we've had today,” and Lee shrugged like it didn't matter, and maybe all of the reasons why they shouldn't – which all boiled down to 'it'll hurt more when he dies on you', not that either of them would say those words even under torture – didn't really matter to a man who'd almost died just now. And truthfully, they didn't matter to Barney either right after he'd almost lost Lee. It wasn't as if not screwing Lee would somehow keep him from getting shot, from crashing a car into a freezing lake, from dying today or next week or in a year or in ten.

“That's a pretty low bar,” he still said, smiled against the nape of Lee's neck when Lee laughed, and still opened Lee's jeans because the least he could do was not ruin the fresh clothes Lee had only just put on. 

“It usually is, with you,” Lee said because apparently even the prospect of a handjob couldn't stop Lee Christmas from running his mouth. Barney reached into his jeans, curled his fingers around Lee's cock – clean underwear had apparently not been part of the plane's clothes stash – and squeezed hard.

“I can still stop if you don't shut up,” he said. Nothing short of having to shoot someone in the head would have stopped him right now, but Lee didn't need to know that.

“Like you can afford to turn anyone down at your age,” Lee said, fingers wrapping around Barney's wrist like he did have to make sure Barney kept going.

“You make me miss the time when I couldn't understand your weird accent yet,” Barney mumbled against Lee's neck, nuzzled his skin because one of the few things he still remembered about that one drunken night they'd spent together was how much Lee had seemed to like the scratch of his beard.

“Look at it that way, your hearing will probably go bad in the near future, so you'll be fine.” They both chuckled, Lee's laughter turning into a low moan when Barney finally stopped teasing and stroked Lee's cock properly, his left thumb caressing the head, and Lee all but whimpered when the leather of Barney's thumb brace brushed over his sensitive skin.

Barney didn't remember anymore just how far gone Lee had to be to finally stop complaining, but he didn't think it'd take him long to find out. 

And by the time they'd be done, they could probably get off the island soon, and Barney sure as hell was going to take Lee home that night once they'd all had a drink at the bar.


End file.
